January 5, 2016: Day 2 & Letting Go

Someone wrote me and said that they had just found my blog, and had read it all.  I went back to see what I had written.  I was pleasantly surprised.  Much of it still holds true today.  I was reminded how important it is for me to write and connect - with myself if no one else...remembering to stay in the "present space" can be - well, not really difficult, but perhaps a difficult habit to establish.  I was disappointed, however, to see that many of the pictures were no longer good.  Not to worry.  I have another idea.

Today was my second day on the job.  I am still in the midst of cleaning things.  Today, I let go of many books that had been left on the shelves.  Tomorrow, I will be looking at some binders that have been left.  In a way it is good - I have no history to these things.  My mind is fresh.  I can let go - and then ask someone whether or not anything needs to be kept. 

And then there is all of my own "stuff."  Problem.  I DO have a connection to much of what I brought, and I did not have the time to discern what to bring and what not to bring to this new place.  One of my wall-hangings asks a question: In the end, how well did you live?  How well did you love?  How well did you learn to let go?  Interestingly enough, I found this quote and a variation attributed to both Buddha and the Dalai Lama - but the Buddha's added some important adjectives.

 Do you see them?  There is something about "fully" living and "deeply" letting go that seems important.  I think I'm pretty good on the "fully" living part - but the "deeply" letting go part ain't as well developed.  Part of it is that I love living on this Earth so much - in this form, in this world - that I don't want to let any of it go. It's almost as if we are here to explore "all things physical," and we become enamored in that pursuit.  And yet, I know that in letting go, more gifts come in. 

Lives and more are transformed by this small, yet vastly huge act of letting go.  Goodness - the courage it takes sometimes!


It's important - this letting go...And so I have decided to allow for an extended "moving in" period.  Everyday, I will let go of something in my files - taking the time to discern what I can let go of, and what truly is worth the space in my file cabinet. As I learn more of what will be helpful in what I'm stepping into, the more space I will be able to make in my file cabinet.  In the end, I think what is needed is a firm commitment on my part to deeply let go of what I have done in the past, and deeply reach toward what is inviting me forward.

  
                  And with that, I will say goodnight.

 

January 3rd, 2016: Two Points

Well - here's what I have learned so far:  

Point #1: The kindness of strangers can be almost overwhelming.

 Point #2: There is a shitload of people in NYC.

I had my first train adventure today - this on my second day in Yonkers.  I took the Metro North Line (a commuter train) to Grand Central Station.  Two young women showed me how to work the ticket machine.  From there, I snagged a 4, 5 line (where two other people got me pointed in the right direction, and showed me how to purchase a subway ticket) to Trinity Wall Street church where I attended a Renaissance Opera (perhaps the first known opera) in which one of my good friends performed.  

(my daughter Maya was quick to point out that this is THE Trinity Wall Street Church under which the "goodies" were buried in the movie National Treasure, and in which adjoining cemetery Alexander Hamilton and Angelica Schuyler are buried - see Hamilton: The Musical for more details.)  I don't know much about National Treasure, but the performance itself was stunning, and a treasure unto itself. 

 After the show, my friend took me to a Cuban Diner - Coppelia (http://coppelianyc.com) where the food was absolutely wonderful, as was the service.  A Cuban tuna salad sandwich is NOTHING like the tuna salad I've eaten in La Crosse.  However, the chicken soup did not even hold a candle to the soup from Fiesta Mexicana.  While we ate, we were asked to move down one seat so that there were three open seats for a trio of friends that came in.  The waiter gave us a free dessert for moving down a seat...stranger and kindness #4. 

Afterwards, I walked down 14th street to Union Square where I needed to catch the train back Uptown to Grand

Central Station, where I would transfer to the Metro North Hudson Line.  Total cost of the day's travel: $23.75.  This seemed reasonable to me, given that I believe the parking alone would have cost me that much had I driven - plus I wouldn't have known where the hell I was going. 


At Union Square, I saw a Whole Foods, and thought I would "bop" in and grab a few things to get me through the next few days....and this is where I learned that there is a shitload of people in NYC.  In keeping with Point #2, I don't believe that "bopping in and out" of a store is part of reality here.  Visualize this: 7 lanes, each with an assigned color of the rainbow.  At the head of the lanes, just before entering the section where the cashiers are located, is a video screen mounted from the ceiling.  The screen has stripes of color that are arranged from left to right - again corresponding to the colors of the rainbow - and also, magically enough - to the lanes in which people are lined up to pay for their groceries. Here's the best pic of the lanes I could find on the web.  However, it is minus all of the people. 

 The picture below better reflects the number of people that were in line.

I landed in the purple lane.  As I watched, I saw that the number of the next empty cashier would appear in each stripe of color - moving through all seven colors in turn, from left to right on the screen.  When I got to the head of the purple line, I watched the open cashier numbers move across the stripes of color, and when a yellow circle with the number "30" appeared on the purple stripe on the video

screen - it was my job to move to cashier number 30.  As I moved, I realized that there were two long aisles of cashiers (better viewed in the second pic above), and I needed to jog to my left, and then my right, and then past cashier #29 - who whose number was not all that visible.  People were helpful, though, and helped me move past #29 to #30.  (Whew!  Another for Point #1.)

It actually was fairly quick.  However - think about this: there were approximately 6-8 people per lane - multiplied by 14 lanes: 7 for people with 10 or less items in their basket, and 7 for people who had 11 or more. This does not take into account the crowded aisles where people took things off the shelves and put them in their baskets.  Yes - Point #2.

The ride home was pleasant.  I watched two young girls and their mother yuk it up - they were having a blast!  So full of life.  The walk home from the subway only took about 10 minutes, and Daisy (my land lady) was orienting a new boarder.  She said, "Oh - and here's Deborah!  Now everyone is home."  That felt nice.  Another score for Point #1.

I've come to realize that my new job may be the easy part.  What will be more difficult is finding the local stores that stock organic foods, and then learning the aisles in those stores.  It will be the daily habits and routines that I don't have yet.  And there will be no more "bopping," at least not in the city.  Whether or not Yonkers is "boppable" remains to be seen.  

Here's what will consume my time: 

ordinary, everyday things.

• establishing my routine for carrying my things to and from the bathroom; 
• figuring out a routine that will support going two floors down to the kitchen only once during a meal; 
• figuring out what I can cook with the resources that are here, and establishing my daily meals; 
• learning to label my food I keep in the shared refrigerator; 
• finding the best route to get to work - bus? train? drive myself?

The simple.  The ordinary.  These, in the end, are what make up a life, yes?  And I am in a position where I must rely on the kindness of strangers.  My best guess is that Point #1 will help me navigate Point #2.  Quite honestly, in relation to Point #1, life has never let me down.  I can't imagine it doing so now. 

January 3rd, 2016: Two Points

Well - here's what I have learned so far:  

Point #1: The kindness of strangers can be almost overwhelming.

 Point #2: There is a shitload of people in NYC.

I had my first train adventure today - this on my second day in Yonkers.  I took the Metro North Line (a commuter train) to Grand Central Station.  Two young women showed me how to work the ticket machine.  From there, I snagged a 4, 5 line (where two other people got me pointed in the right direction, and showed me how to purchase a subway ticket) to Trinity Wall Street church where I attended a Renaissance Opera (perhaps the first known opera) in which one of my good friends performed.  

(my daughter Maya was quick to point out that this is THE Trinity Wall Street Church under which the "goodies" were buried in the movie National Treasure, and in which adjoining cemetery Alexander Hamilton and Angelica Schuyler are buried - see Hamilton: The Musical for more details.)  I don't know much about National Treasure, but the performance itself was stunning, and a treasure unto itself. 

 After the show, my friend took me to a Cuban Diner - Coppelia (http://coppelianyc.com) where the food was absolutely wonderful, as was the service.  A Cuban tuna salad sandwich is NOTHING like the tuna salad I've eaten in La Crosse.  However, the chicken soup did not even hold a candle to the soup from Fiesta Mexicana.  While we ate, we were asked to move down one seat so that there were three open seats for a trio of friends that came in.  The waiter gave us a free dessert for moving down a seat...stranger and kindness #4. 

Afterwards, I walked down 14th street to Union Square where I needed to catch the train back Uptown to Grand

Central Station, where I would transfer to the Metro North Hudson Line.  Total cost of the day's travel: $23.75.  This seemed reasonable to me, given that I believe the parking alone would have cost me that much had I driven - plus I wouldn't have known where the hell I was going. 


At Union Square, I saw a Whole Foods, and thought I would "bop" in and grab a few things to get me through the next few days....and this is where I learned that there is a shitload of people in NYC.  In keeping with Point #2, I don't believe that "bopping in and out" of a store is part of reality here.  Visualize this: 7 lanes, each with an assigned color of the rainbow.  At the head of the lanes, just before entering the section where the cashiers are located, is a video screen mounted from the ceiling.  The screen has stripes of color that are arranged from left to right - again corresponding to the colors of the rainbow - and also, magically enough - to the lanes in which people are lined up to pay for their groceries. Here's the best pic of the lanes I could find on the web.  However, it is minus all of the people. 

 The picture below better reflects the number of people that were in line.

I landed in the purple lane.  As I watched, I saw that the number of the next empty cashier would appear in each stripe of color - moving through all seven colors in turn, from left to right on the screen.  When I got to the head of the purple line, I watched the open cashier numbers move across the stripes of color, and when a yellow circle with the number "30" appeared on the purple stripe on the video

screen - it was my job to move to cashier number 30.  As I moved, I realized that there were two long aisles of cashiers (better viewed in the second pic above), and I needed to jog to my left, and then my right, and then past cashier #29 - who whose number was not all that visible.  People were helpful, though, and helped me move past #29 to #30.  (Whew!  Another for Point #1.)

It actually was fairly quick.  However - think about this: there were approximately 6-8 people per lane - multiplied by 14 lanes: 7 for people with 10 or less items in their basket, and 7 for people who had 11 or more. This does not take into account the crowded aisles where people took things off the shelves and put them in their baskets.  Yes - Point #2.

The ride home was pleasant.  I watched two young girls and their mother yuk it up - they were having a blast!  So full of life.  The walk home from the subway only took about 10 minutes, and Daisy (my land lady) was orienting a new boarder.  She said, "Oh - and here's Deborah!  Now everyone is home."  That felt nice.  Another score for Point #1.

I've come to realize that my new job may be the easy part.  What will be more difficult is finding the local stores that stock organic foods, and then learning the aisles in those stores.  It will be the daily habits and routines that I don't have yet.  And there will be no more "bopping," at least not in the city.  Whether or not Yonkers is "boppable" remains to be seen.  

Here's what will consume my time: 

ordinary, everyday things.

• establishing my routine for carrying my things to and from the bathroom; 
• figuring out a routine that will support going two floors down to the kitchen only once during a meal; 
• figuring out what I can cook with the resources that are here, and establishing my daily meals; 
• learning to label my food I keep in the shared refrigerator; 
• finding the best route to get to work - bus? train? drive myself?

The simple.  The ordinary.  These, in the end, are what make up a life, yes?  And I am in a position where I must rely on the kindness of strangers.  My best guess is that Point #1 will help me navigate Point #2.  Quite honestly, in relation to Point #1, life has never let me down.  I can't imagine it doing so now. 

May 18th - No Pictures for This One

Whoa.  I am amazed at how easily I can sabotage myself.  I just read my last post…the one about the "Ruh-Roh."  The one about how I have underlying negative thoughts.  The one about my wonderful analytical mind - and the importance of shutting it down on a regular basis so that I can "be" more in the present, with Spirit, with Earth.

Here's what I've done instead: continued to work like a fool in order to get posters ready for a national conference, and attend that conference; get my doctoral work submitted for publication; sent out 6 vitaes, phone interviewed twice, in-person interviewed once, with another phone interview this week; continued to teach, with all quizzes and papers graded and entered; began work on a new course for this spring; get %!&#$ shit done for the %#!$% self-study.  I have done some sitting; I have done some yoga; I have had a massage appointment or two - and maybe one or two  acupuncture treatments; I have fretted; I have eaten more wheat and ice cream and chocolate and candy and alcohol in the last few months than I have in the last two years. 

As I look at that list, I think I am understanding why the diet, low exercise and alcohol have taken a larger role.  My analytical mind would say that it's the negative thoughts.  I'm glad that I've got a little bit more perspective than my negative thoughts.

This morning I woke up, remembering two different dreams.  The first involved a mouse that, when I noticed it, dove into a hole.  The second was essentially the same thing, except it was a lizard-like thing.  It was black, and it was in the silverware drawer.  It darted from one place to another as I moved silverware and utensils to get my weary eyes on it.  It finally dove down into a small hole which appeared out of nowhere in one of the utensil partitions. It was frantic.  I just wanted to look at it - I was curious.  It had two lateral bumps in its body, like a sideways camel, or a child with prune belly syndrome - but with two bellies.  It would not allow my curiosity to be resolved.  It was scared, and dove down the hole.  

I couldn't find much on the web about mice or lizards, other than that there may be a part of myself I am denying.  The idea of jumping into and/or hiding in a hole seems to match well with that idea.  Perhaps there is a piece of myself that I am denying; perhaps I am afraid of something.  And that seems to go with the baby eagle "bit" that I've written about before.  Something is strong in me, and it needs nurturing. I am afraid to grow into it. Into parts of myself?  I don't know, but there is something that rings true in those statements.  Some threshing and seasoning of those thoughts may be needed.    

So, I will say it here.  Spirit, I am willing.  Show me how.  Help my eyes see, my heart feel, and my body act.  Show me the negative, so that I can meet it, respect it, counteract it, and let it go. 

  

March 20, 2015: Ruh-Roh..Subconsicous Negative Thoughts on the Radar

Well - it's been awhile.  I had my 9-month-check (third blood draw) and follow-up since the big diagnosis, and found out that my blood counts were still in good shape.  However, that itty-bitty rise I saw in the counts in December (even though numbers were still typical) continued, with one of the counts inching out of the typical zone.  It was only a change of - hmm, something like .6 of one point.  My practitioner said something like "your counts doubling in a 3-month period" would be a concern.  We are nowhere near that.  

What's happening in my body can be compared to climate change, in a way.  I could deny it - even though there is scientific proof otherwise.  Or, I could say, "Well, it seems that tragic consequences are a ways off" and continue the course I'm on.  Or, I could acknowledge the truth: I have lymphoma.  My counts are up.  I need to slow down

and nourish my body and my Spirit."  How lucky is that, to have such a clear mechanism and sign to alert me that I need to slow down?  Okie-dokie.  Back to Massage.  And Energy 
Work.  And Acupuncture.  And Reiki.   And Exercise.  And Meditation.  And eating better.  First item of business today: figure out how to decrease the first and subsequent deposits into the brand new supplemental retirement account in order to support this important work.  The time for more alternative and complementary medicine is nigh.

So.  The Reiki.  I'd been told two months ago at my last session that a baby eagle was an animal spirit guide who could help me on my journey.  I read a little about them.  I found some pictures. And I had difficulty working with it.  I told my practitioner this.  During yesterday's session, that little bird was able to sit in my heart.  After the session, my 

practitioner told me that one of the things interfering with my self-care was negative thoughts - she felt a lot of them.  I was unaware of them.  After sitting a minute, I realized that I had been taking on some of my daughter's recent bout of sadness.  After sitting overnight with it - I have a better idea of what is going on.  First - a side story.

Last November, I had been taking my guitar with me to work, and singing in the stairwells during my breaks.  It was a good thing, although it took a little bit of effort to lug everything (guitar, music books, music stand) into my office, and subsequently down to the stairwell.  One day, as I stood there singing, I realized that I was thinking three things at once: 1) I was singing, and the words were pouring 

out of me and my fingers were playing the chords; 2) I was thinking about some other issue, at the same time; and, then, 3) I had the awareness that there were three things going on all at once: singing, thinking about another issue, AND having an awareness that I was doing all three things at the same time.  Whoa.  I noticed this - but really didn't do much with it, other than make a note to myself that I needed to continue to sit with my friend in worship and keep bringing the focus back to my breath and to Spirit.

Okay - back to the main story.  This morning my awareness is this: all of those negative thoughts that my Reiki practitioner noticed are going on below my subconscious - below my level of awareness.  Whoa.  She said something

to the affect that "your analytical mind is a good thing - and you need to be able to lay it aside and say 'I've got important spiritual work to do right now.'"  That's my mantra today: Honor my analytical mind.  Give thanks to it.  Express my gratitude and thanks to it.  Ask it to stand aside for awhile, as it's time to be present with my Spirit, and with my Spiritual work.  

I have this picture of an industrial-sized stove with many burners, many of which are covered with a pot,

some of which are boiling and/or simmering right up to the brim.  There are many back burners, and they continue to simmer outside of my awareness.  My subconscious attention to them is draining me.  I've been trying to clear the burners - when what may be more healthful is turning off the damn stove for a bit and spending time in nourishing my Soul.

I don't have this analogy worked out totally - and I smile as I realize that the need to totally work it out is a product of my analytical mind.  My Spirit can let it be, trusting that

it's really not that important to work it out - it's more important simply to rest in Spirit, rest in the Earth.  Turn off the stove, knowing that I can turn it back on again.  However, the negative energy that my Reiki practitioner felt - those pots? - I need to put them into the compost, where they can get recycled and regenerated.

Physician: Heal Thy Self.  

Deborah: Know your burners.  Honor your wonderful, busy, analytical mind.  Ask it to step aside for a bit, every single day, every single moment.  Be in the fullness. Be in the fullness.  Be in the fullness.  And from a previous post where I quoted Mary Oliver: It's simple, they say.  And you, too have come into the world to do this: to go easy, to be filled with light, and to shine.  

http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/radar-speed-sign.jpg 
http://www.hcpl.net/sites/default/files/eagle%20chick.jpg
https://theprimalyogi.files.wordpress.com/2013/12/racing_mind.jpeg
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https://walthope.files.wordpress.com/2013/06/ab.jpg

http://assets.mytopfbcover.com/2012/07/04/1812/51893/blue-shine-windows7_facebook_timeline_cover.jpg

January 17, 2015: Attending to Bubbles for Balance

It's hard to believe that it has been well over a month since last I wrote.  I told a friend this morning - "I'm feeling off-

center…unbalanced…something's a-kilter.  I just don't have that same grounded feeling I did at the beginning of knowing my diagnosis.  That space is not reachable right now."  Sort of like the picture - still functioning, but not at an optimum or efficient level.  Not good.  That space and place was full of grace.  Hoo-boy.  Does that make me an "ace" at rhyming?  Nah…just someone who is writing unmonitored by her frontal lobe.  

It would be easy to fall into a blow-by-blow litany of all of the events that have happened since I last wrote.  However, that would distract me rather than focus me to where I want to be: Grounded.  Connected to Spirit.  Connected to myself.  Litanies have a way of keeping one locked into one way of viewing things, and are very good distractors.  Sometimes the distraction keeps me from what I think I "should" be doing.  Other times it can keep me from going where I am being "led."  Either way, the litany becomes part of the journey when it simply doesn't have to be.    

And something is bubbling up.  I described it this morning to that same friend mentioned above.  "You know - it's like a really thick porridge that is coming to a boil.  It's like that first bubble, that starts on the bottom of the pot, and then

takes forever to come to the surface, but then, it does make it and there is this bubble that sort of splats out over the surface."  My bubble is rising - albeit slowly - to the surface.  (I'm hearing Little River Band…"Hang on!  Help is on the way…".)  Help for the bubble - not help for me.  Believe me, this thing could easily be ignored - it's nothing that is painful at this moment.  However, left unattended, it will get stuck somewhere in the middle, and that could make for burnt porridge: a soup that will be scorched on the bottom, and that most likely means a scorched taste throughout.  So, one little bubble has the power to affect everything else.  Attend to the bubbles.  For real.  And I'm not kidding about that.

So - today, I ignored the list (or the boulder, as one of my friends has named it) and I scheduled a massage, and then some energy work.  If there's one thing that my tired bag-o-bones has learned: pay attention to the bubbles rising.

Example of NOT paying attention...

 Get them help.  Support them.  It may mean turning up the heat; it may mean stirring the pot.  Stop.  Wait.  Listen.  You will know what to do.  The trick is in listening and acting on what you are being told.  

The massage was great - one of the certificates on the wall said the guy had special training in head, neck and shoulders…and yeeees ma'am.  He shore did. When I paid at the front desk, the receptionist asked, "Do you know about our massage packages?  Pay for 3 and get one free, or pay for 4 and get one free."  I purchased before I could think about it.  I plunged into the "4" deal.  I need to take care of myself.  I have to remind myself that while my cancer may not be an "active li'l booger," it is still present, and could decide to become more active if I don't take care of myself.  

And, after a recent conversation between two sides of myself (i.e., the one that begrudges spending money on myself, and the one that understands that it is important to do so…which, btw, just happened on these very blog pages, but was  deleted so that YOU didn't have to live in my head as well), I am at peace and so effing excited that I now have 5 massages lined up that I could - well, hmmm….not

sure what I could do, but whatever it is would be fun and very outrageous. 

Time to go for the energy work now.  Then, I will attend to at least one thing today, and that is my cell phone.  For some reason, it's on - and it looks as if it's connected - but it can't call out, and no one can call in.  This is not a good thing for a phone that is used for emergencies.  It's a tracfon, and I pay an average of $15-20 a month - sometimes less if I can get a good deal on the pre-paid minutes.  However, I've had this phone for over 4 years (it's a flip top dumb phone), and it may be time to get a new phone.  Sigh.  We'll see.  

Later…I'm off to get energied.  Bubbles away!

balance:  http://lmtworthtalkingabout.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/off-balanced-man.jpg

bubbles: http://www.wealdaquatics.co.uk/images/products/air-pump-bubbles.jpg

wave-attention: http://www.alliancetrustcompany.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/notPayingAttention-767602.jpg

outrageous duck: http://www.guiasamarillasnews.com/_uploads/imgNoticias_12_13/noticias_file_foto_708009_1387473818.jpg

 

December 1, 2014: A Past Thanksgiving

     These past few days have been spent with my family and myself: eating, laughing, hanging out, some work, some chores.  One of those chores included making the back room into an office for Maya and myself.  Part of that meant bringing in the file cabinet that has been sitting in the garage for the past 7 years, going through the stuff that was in it, and pitching most of it.  However, I was delighted to find a piece of writing that I thought I had lost.  It was about a previous Thanksgiving when Ian (now 21 years young) was only 1 or 2 - not sure which.  It follows below.

     "It was the simple act of sewing up the turkey.  I looked in my sewing cabinet - which was my mother's sewing cabinet, which was her mother's sewing cabinet - and immediately found the 4-inch, curved needle that I was to use.  It was almost as if it had been lying in wait for me, asking itself, 'Will she find me this Thanksgiving?'

 

   I found the string and carefully threaded the needle so that all of the loose threads pulled through.  The knot that I tied in the opposite end was huge, partly because the string was fat, partly because it had to keep a turkey's bottom closed tight.  I could not afford any loose seams.

     As I took the needle and poked it through, I was aware of how focused I was…me and the turkey - the needle and the string.  Through the bottom flap of skin and up and through the top flap of skin and pull tight and lap over to go through the bottom flap of skin and up - and so on until the five or six stitches it took ran straight and true and the turkey was closed.  Done.

     'You sewed the turkey?' my husband asked - this, after a lengthy discussion about how to close the turkey, did it really need closing, don't go through the trouble, it'll be fine, and my insistence that yes, it would be sewn.  'Yes,' I replied quietly.  'I sewed the turkey.'  'Your mom probably sewed turkeys, too,' he said.

     At the time I had replied, "I doubt it."  Now, I know that she did.  I don't remember her sewing, but I do remember a

bird sewn.  When I saw the finished turkey - out of the oven stuffed, stitched and brown - I remembered.  And now I know - somehow that simple act of sewing up a turkey was transformed into an archetypal act that connected me to

my mother in a way so profound that I wanted to go on stitching forever - I felt her presence so strongly.  Even now, writing these few words, her presence is again so close that I could breathe on her were she next to me.  Perhaps, I muse, she is my breath.

     I pray to all that is divine to be with me today - that it stretch from thanksgivings past and lace me through with all that is good and nurturing that I may give to myself and my husband and son.  And in that giving, may the spirit of my mother and her mother and her mother be alive today and everyday.  And I pray with my entire heart to all that is divine, to all that is beautiful and to all that nurtures, that I may again, next year, sew my history to my legacy by taking five or six stitches in a turkey with a needle and string."

     And today, I pray that I may experience each moment of

my life in the same way that I experienced that one - fully present in the "now," - yet so consciously present with all who came before me, and so consciously aware of all those who will come after.  

     

I am a Lucky Ducky.

needle: http://www.planetjune.com/blog/images/chair3.jpg

turkey: http://assets.kitchendaily.com/styles/large/s3/brine-cured-roast-turkey_400X400.jpeg?itok=NtvoSYqu

line of women: http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/236x/88/ab/48/88ab4801da6d3cff53b50b6433c8960f.jpg

two women: http://chrysaliswoman.com/uploads/3/2/1/6/3216263/9176086.jpg?645

infinity sign:  http://cf.ltkcdn.net/feng-shui/images/std/101965-400x300-Eternity_knot.jpg