Last week - or was it two weeks ago - I told my dean that I would try to reflect on what has happened daily, keep a list of what was accomplished, and then let her know. I would try to keep a list of what was being planned, and ask her advice on that.
I have not done that. I was getting ready for conference - and then I was catching up from conference - and though I've stayed late a couple of nights, I'm not sure what exactly happened each day.
Yesterday was a blur - many people coming in and out, fires that needed addressing - issues that seemed to rise up from nowhere...the student whose doctor is telling her that her vaccinations are up to date, but the college is telling her that they are not, and that she needs more and will not let her register until she gets more. Crazy-making things. Time-sucking things - yet things that allow for connection with others. And it's not that I begrudge them - I enjoy them. However, once they done I'm onto the next thing before I can fully acknowledge what I have done, i.e., built a relationship with an incoming student, shown some kindness, attempted, at least, to make something right. That's only one example.
I just read a short item on how our unconscious controls more of our brain than we think it does. This means getting to know our unconscious is a good thing. This points to the idea that "waiting it out," - sitting, meditating, listening in prayer - is a good thing.
Does doing things more intentionally mean that I need to schedule myself daily? Perhaps not all of my activities - but perhaps sitting quietly - would be the most fruitful thing to do intentionally and to schedule daily and regularly.
I am thinking of the song "Woodstock" - the line about trying to "get ourselves back to the garden." That's what I am trying to do right now. I was in the garden when I moved out here and began this job - and I want to get myself back to it.
I need a picture of a banyan tree - that's what is coming to mind....those wonderful trees that spread out, root down, grow up toward the light, yet provide shade and shelter. That's what I am thinking right now. Banyan tree.
Namaste.
And one last thing...
prayers, prayers, prayers
for a dear cousin and friend - and her family.
