Really nothing to say here...I got into the blog this evening (11-10-2016) and on this particular post it said "Draft."
I opened it, and there was nothing there.
It seemed important - for some unknown reason - to preserve Draft, so I did. Tonight, on 11-10-2016, I created a new post instead of using Draft.
So - what you are reading right this minute was started on June 26th, 2016 - but nothing was really written until tonight....right now.
That's a long time in between posts - and even longer between the last actual post before Draft, and the one I actually just posted before this one earlier this evening on November 10th, 2016 - but will probably show up after this one, given that this one was Draft, and the other one wasn't.
I do think that I've fallen off the wagon of self-care...my trip back to Wisconsin for my things, and then to San Diego for work has left me feeling asynchronous and off-kilter. Definitely off my game.
Damn. Time for exercise, acupuncture, massage, and radical self-care. Making the time for it...loving my body and my heart and my soul up as much as I can stand...maybe dancing this Saturday evening...
In the words of a friend from Minnesota: Yuppers.
June 26, 2016
June 26th, 2016: Joy Guides
This morning I woke up, and chose a book from the many that I had borrowed at the Library yesterday. It didn't work, so I chose another. These first two are going back, I think. They were written in first person, and the lead character was chattering on...my ears felt assaulted...the person would stop talking when I stopped reading - but would begin the incessant chatter once I started reading again. Mismatch. Both will be going back today or tomorrow.
I pulled three cards from a deck that I use to support centering and focus in my life. The first card suggests an attitude or frame of mind with which to approach an issue, the second points to a way to shift the present energy towards a higher level, and the third suggests what I may be overlooking. Here's what I drew:
The first is attending to my physical body. Duh. No Brainer. I have not been nurturing my body - even driving it like a slave master. This truly does point to the attitude with which I need to move forward. I am grateful - again - to be reminded of the obvious.
The second is a "note to self" - a reminder that all of us - me, included - are children of Spirit, and that "Any self-rejection and self-criticism" I may feel are "wounds inflicted" on me by an "unconscious world." They are not a part of me, and not part of my Spirit.
The last brought a query: it represents what I may be overlooking. Basically, it states that I need to get ready for the party, as all of my efforts have paid off. I can call it "luck," but it is also due to my hard work over a long time span.
My first thought was, "How can it get any better?" I have had difficulty getting to my Grief (yes, capital "G") because of the many gifts I seem to have received this past year. When I reflect back on where I was a year ago January, and where I am now, I can only say that I am astounded and blessed.
And, when I stop to pause, even this Grief is a gift because - in the midst of all of my life's new changes - I am finally "getting to" the things that were important to me in La Crosse...the things that bore me up amid the other necessities that needed doing...and were, at the risk of being a little sappy, the gems that shone in the darkness. All of those things deserve my attention, now.
This really is "Good Grief."
The very BEST kind of Grief....
I am blessed to have so many things to grieve, and honoring my grief is the very best way to honor those things which are no longer near - Mom inlcuded, with her lack of physical presence felt as strongly and as as poignantly as the good things in La Crosse.
Today, the tears started with a post on Fb. A former student lost her dear pet Hedgehog - to cancer, she believes. I met that hedgehog. She brought him for a surprise visit - a "therapy hedgehog" - for one of the children in our UW-L Peds Play Lab. He was wonderful. I ached for her loss. I remember that visit - and it brought me joy.
So, once again, there is never really only this or that emotion...one or the other...black or white...but those wonderful shades of gray wherein - truly - all of the colors lie.
I pulled three cards from a deck that I use to support centering and focus in my life. The first card suggests an attitude or frame of mind with which to approach an issue, the second points to a way to shift the present energy towards a higher level, and the third suggests what I may be overlooking. Here's what I drew:
The second is a "note to self" - a reminder that all of us - me, included - are children of Spirit, and that "Any self-rejection and self-criticism" I may feel are "wounds inflicted" on me by an "unconscious world." They are not a part of me, and not part of my Spirit.
The last brought a query: it represents what I may be overlooking. Basically, it states that I need to get ready for the party, as all of my efforts have paid off. I can call it "luck," but it is also due to my hard work over a long time span.
My first thought was, "How can it get any better?" I have had difficulty getting to my Grief (yes, capital "G") because of the many gifts I seem to have received this past year. When I reflect back on where I was a year ago January, and where I am now, I can only say that I am astounded and blessed.
And, when I stop to pause, even this Grief is a gift because - in the midst of all of my life's new changes - I am finally "getting to" the things that were important to me in La Crosse...the things that bore me up amid the other necessities that needed doing...and were, at the risk of being a little sappy, the gems that shone in the darkness. All of those things deserve my attention, now.
This really is "Good Grief."
The very BEST kind of Grief....
I am blessed to have so many things to grieve, and honoring my grief is the very best way to honor those things which are no longer near - Mom inlcuded, with her lack of physical presence felt as strongly and as as poignantly as the good things in La Crosse.
Today, the tears started with a post on Fb. A former student lost her dear pet Hedgehog - to cancer, she believes. I met that hedgehog. She brought him for a surprise visit - a "therapy hedgehog" - for one of the children in our UW-L Peds Play Lab. He was wonderful. I ached for her loss. I remember that visit - and it brought me joy.
So, once again, there is never really only this or that emotion...one or the other...black or white...but those wonderful shades of gray wherein - truly - all of the colors lie.
"If there is any secret to this life I live, this is it: The sound of what cannot be seen sings within everything that can...there is nothing more to it than that."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)