August 23: Respect and "Hoverance"...

The Quakers talk about "sitting with" something…it means holding it closely, whatever "it" is, and waiting for guidance from Spirit.  When we hold an issue like this, over time, and the answer does not seem quite threshed out, we say that we are "letting it season."  This means  waiting for something to come to clarity before moving forward.

Here is the query that I've been sitting with:  Self-Respect.  What does it mean, to Respect myself?  Truly.  Madly.  Deeply.  What does it look like in everyday life?  For some reason, this has been an easier concept to wrap my mind around than Loving myself.  I'm not sure why - and let's not let the pondering about the "why's" distract me from the main event: What does it look like to Respect myself in all of my thoughts and actions throughout my day?

Here's what I'm discovering: I don't think that I'm so good at it.  Here's a simple example: in an earlier post I talked about radical self-care, which might include, as a simple example, going to the bathroom when my body needs to go, rather than holding it so that I could just "finish the one last thought" or task or whatever.  I have watched myself sit and continue to type the almighty thoughts while one or both of my feet were up on their toes and back to the floor, quickly bouncing one or both legs frantically while trying to keep the pee inside me.  How respectful is that of my body?  Of my kidneys?  Of my poor old worn out bladder that rests on my barely functioning pelvic floor?  I'd venture to say, "Not much."

And when I sit at my desk for hours at a time, drawn deliciously into whatever it is I'm working on, sitting, sitting, sitting…all caught up in my thoughts…what am I respecting?  Well, I'm respecting my thoughts…perhaps my mind, and whatever journey it has drawn the rest of me into.  Am I respecting my body?  No.  Not much.  Am I respecting my mind?  Well, it seems so.  But am I, really?  

And when I loll around in bed, when I know I have a 10-mile long list that needs doing, what am I respecting?  Who am I respecting?  You see, it gets very, very tricky.  I may be respecting that I and my body are tired, and need a rest. 

Or, am I?  What if that lolling is a trick of my mind that is merely supporting me from doing what needs doing?  What if something on that list really, really needs doing - and completing that task is in my highest good?  Is it respecting myself if I don't get it done?  Probably not.  

Tricky.  Yes, indeed.  My mind is a strange and beautiful thing.  Everyone's mind is, quite honestly.

Here is what I am coming to, after "sitting with" some notes I found…I had taken them at a workshop for women who were striving for balance and centeredness in their everyday life.    


Action undertaken with our mind only, 
  will wear itself out, in the long run.  

Our hearts can act as a wonderful advisory board.  

Ensuring that we use the advisory board is truly in our best interest.  

Mind and heart - 

working together - 

     will be what sustains our actions

                  in the long run.

  

A friend asked, "Heart….or Spirit?"  He was not trying to parse words.  I could feel what he was saying, although I'm not sure that I could explain it here with words.  That one will need to season a little bit.  

Currently, the query is:  

And how do I respect myself on an on-going basis, throughout my everyday life?  

I think, for now, it comes down to asking that question daily, perhaps hourly, perhaps even minute by minute, and then taking some time to sit and wait for an answer.  This act, in and of itself, is respectful to myself.  Expectful waiting, attentive listening for Divine Guidance, so that my head has time to run whatever "it" is past the Advisory Board in my Heart before I move forward, seems profoundly respectful.  

But what about decisions that need to be made now?  Well, I think I take a breath in, and quickly say, "OK, God, this is a fast one.  If you've got something to say, say it now, say it quickly."  If I get a clear answer, Fantastic!  If I don't, then I say, "OK.  I can't hear you right now, for whatever reason.  Please, hover over me while I move forward, doing the best I can do, with what I've got, at this point in time.  Hover over me."  And then, I do the best I can.  And then it's done.  My mom used to say "Period!  End of Report!"  I like that.

Or what about when the information comes so quickly - and there's so much of it - yada-yada-yada - that it's hard to   

sort through?  Some of it may pertain to the issue at hand…some of it may be superfluous…and perhaps I may feel that the decision has more importance than it really does?  The Buddhists would probably agree with the "importance" thing, i.e., not so important, all illusion, etc.

It seems like the little path outlined in the preceding paragraph would work in this instance as well.  

Stop.  Wait.  Listen. 

And if there's not an answer forthcoming in the present moment when an answer is needed, then ask for a blessing, pray for "hoverance," and move forward.  

Stop. Wait. Listen.  

I'm not sure that there's a better way to be.  At least, that's what's coming to this hovered, lucky duck, right here, right now.

I'm going to leave you with a song that is both beautiful and beautifully performed.  I re-found it on my Bookmarks Bar, and I am so happy that I did.  It is a song by Susan Werner, and performed by Red Molly.  

May I suggest this is the best part of your life?

balanced rocks: http://thirdeyeactivation.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/7tipsmeditation.jpg

holding pee:  http://www.shirisarfati.com/wp-content/uploads/holding-pee-e1394649097646.jpg
heart of fire: http://www.jewishlordswitness.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/Heart_of_Fire.jpg
question: http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/z/question-mark-22537418.jpg
mirror illusion: http://s3.amazonaws.com/thumbnails.illustrationsource.com/huge.7.35225.JPG
Red Molly, May I Suggest: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kbvTPlYgNw