Fb was an inappropriate venue for spending time with myself. I was led here. I may be as surprised as you that I'm here - that is, if you are the surprise-able type. Know that the archives are in chronological order, with most recent posts at the bottom. The readings are the opposite, with the most recent posts at the top. Things may be more clear if you begin at the beginning. But then, why follow convention…do as you please. That's a habit which I'm trying to cultivate even more.
"'Do you mean we should remember the Lord even in the give-and-take of business?' 'Yes, of course," the rabbi replies. 'If we can rember business matters in the hour of prayer, shouldn't we be able to remember God in the transactions of our business?'" (from the book "Words to Live By" by Eknath Easwaran, p. 112)
This first made me giggle - tit for tat. My next thought was "of course." The concept of "center first, attach yourself to Spirit first, and then act" was made concrete for me as I learned about Quaker business meetings. They are named this: Worship, with Attention to Business.
First: Worship Second: Attention to Business
Almost as an afterthought - but not really.
What would happen if I approached my life this way?
Worship, with attention to email.
Worship, with attention to my supervisee.
Worship, with attention to self-care.
Worship, with attention to my co-workers.
Worship, with attention to my written work.
And what would happen if our leaders did the same?
Worship, with attention to Immigration Policies
Worship, with attention to providing for the poor
Worship, with attention to the budget
Worship, with attention to humanity
And the other reading addressed loving the potential in another person, and "shoo-ing away the bats" to find the "doves." Perhaps Worship - with attention to loving.
Worship.
Spirit, today may I be a Banyan Tree - ever growing toward the Light, and always dropping more roots down into the Earth...spreading wider, ever farther, going about the business of growing, and ever seeking the Light - yet seeking "grounding" in the same.
I am starting anew. Three glorious paths chosen - some from confusion - but all, in the end, for health.
For three days in a row I have walked out of work while it was still daylight. It is a good thing. On Monday, I had left early to order new glasses. I drove home with the full intention of going back to work once I finished my task. I walked to the optician's (2 blocks down, much easier to park at home and walk), and then walked home.
My building supervisors (Kathy and Hank) were sitting out on their deck as I walked to my entrance, and said, "Hey how are you doing?" I answered, "Not bad." They replied, "It's
always better now that you are home, yeah?" I replied, "That's for sure!" And then the voice in my head said, "Fuck No! You are not taking me back to work!"
And so I didn't....take her to work. I stayed home. I ate outside on a small patio table that was left by the previous occupants, and looked at the hillside that was free of weeds and other detritus, given my reclaiming of it over the past weekend. It. Was. Wonderful. Later that evening, even working on my taxes was not a chore.
The next evening, I left because I had a hike I was planning
to attend - unanswered email stayed in the "inbox" as I shut down the computer and walked out the door. I was half-way home before I remembered that it was Wednesday - and the hike was on Thursday. Again - wonderful. I finished my taxes.
Last night, I was planning on the hike - remember? The one I had thought was happening the night before? I left even
-->
earlier to make the hike.
I had a meeting with my Dean - and when I was done, I left emails unopened and unread in my inbox, again shut down my computer, and walked out the door.
Once I got home and plugged the coordinates into the GPS, I discovered that the traffic across the bridge was thick. It
was going to turn what had been a 30 minute drive into a one hour and 15 minute drive. Even with the extra 30 minutes I had built in, I would be 30 minutes late for the hike. Well, no worries. I went to the Rockefeller Preserve - which was lovely.
And the last two mornings, I have chosen to meditate on two readings from a daily book of the same - one for the day and one for 6 months from the day.
It seems like slow work - but definitely a better path than what I was on. And if, today, I can walk out while it is still light out, I will have accomplished an 80% goal this week: 4 of 5 days, I left while it was still light out. And the goal really didn't even exist in my consciousness.
Thank goodness that I have a strong "hidden voice" that seems to look out for my better interests.
Thank goodness that I had the wherewithal to listen when it was speaking.
